Kristin Reingardt I was at WAL-MART buying a bag of Purina dog chow for my dogs today, I was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT ??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in .........intensive care, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me. I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Better watch what you ask me and be prepared for my answer. I have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say...
Veikko Anttila A man walks into a shop to buy a brain. The shop assistant pulls out three brains for him to choose from, One is a doctors brain and costs 50.000 dollars! The second brain is a philosphers brain and costs 100.000 dollars! The third brain is a politicians brai and cost 500.000 dollars. The man says " hey wait a minute! why does the politician brai cost so much more than the others? The shop assistant replies " this brain has never been used!"
Cody Baker I need a wife on here still ;p !
Paul Cable Has a poorly boy and hope the banana medicine kicks in quickly
Randy Lynn does anybody know were i can get a living baby lamb i need a pet freind
Daniel Tewelde One day a man was walk'n through z streets tiredly when he saw a small fruit shop. Zer he saw an apple & mango.which fruit did he buy & eat?
Stephen Gaskill If you're reading this Then I finally did it I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye There was no time Understand I was stressed Living day to day was hard And I gave it my best But there was nothing left For me in this world To convince me to stay Now I'm long gone away Don't you do that Don't you start your tears Just remember all the time we spent over the years Never cry Never think bad to me What's done is done and that's the way it had to be I need you to be strong for me Say your prayer everyday in my memory I'm sure it's helping me To earn my feathers To get some wings And a halo and a harp and angelic things And even though I'm gone And outta sight Never worry about me I'm alright, I'm alright
And if I should die Don't blame yourself and keep it locked inside I'm alright And everytime you cry don't breakdown Just keep me inside in your mind!
Kyra G Flett well its about time my chasity is having her nap, Hehe MY :) Lol, when my momma holds her she crys, eezihmookihwahnihgooyan! just cute ^_^ maybe coz my mom is never around, but yeah im glad shes back to work, anyway .... . guna start cleaning up & get rdy before she wakes up! have yourselfs a nice daaay ;)
Sonya Smith Signup to win a $25 Burkes gift card
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Matthew Erhunwmun Idahosa WHAT LOVE CAN DO. ITS SO AMAZING.
A guy who has no job got married to a
banker, despite his fears and advices
that it is not good to marry without a
job.
Every month the girl will give the guy her full salary N135,000 after removing
her N15,000 tithe. The guy will give the
wife N20,000 for personal up keep and
guy determines what happens to the
remaining money, this thing happened
for 3good years....... There was happiness in the family & the girl never
refuse to do her primary home duty for
that 3 years despite wrong advice from
frineds. That you can't pay the bills &
still be doing all the work.
There was a particular month the guy used about N70,000 to travel from
state to state for different interviews.
The guy finally got a job with a good
firm in portharcourt his salary was
N600,000 monthly for a start.
He bought his first car (a brand new) for N4.5m, he gave the wife the car
keys. So he took public transport to
work for about 2years b4 he bought
the second car for N6 million. After he
bought the second car he took the
keys of the ist car & gave the wife the key of the second car but the wife
refused, so the guy started taking
public transport to work for one
month. The wife now decided to take
new car for the guy to stop taking
public transport to work. They very very were happy.
They finally moved into thier personal
house after some few years.
One day, the wife was looking for some
documents she now saw a file codedly
hidden, when she opened the file she saw her wedding picture when she
was very slim in the first page of the file.
She finally saw that the document to the
purchase of the land & every other
things in the house contains her name
only. At the last page was the guy's wedding picture and a note written by
the husband, '' MY WIFE IS ALL I HAVE
GOT,NOT EVEN THIS HOUSE WORTH
N24MILLION AT THE TIME I BUILT IT''.
This couple got married in 1998. Last
Sunday was their wedding anniversary with two children a boy & a girl.
True LOVE still existS up till this day.
Are you sure, the love you have for
Him/Her can be compared to this one
you just read.
STAY BLESSES, YOU CAN MAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WORK BY LOVING HIM/
HER UNCONDITIONALL...
Kelsey Burris well, i havent been on my facebook 4 two days because it keeps freezing and going slow need a new memorie card 4 it ! i used to be on it all the time but now i usauly dont soooo... yah! XD
Joy van Heerden First night in CT watched the wind surfers an the sunset over big bay with cocktails and then a wonderful supper at a restourant overlooking Table mountain. Thanks to wonderful friends had a brilliant time and laughed till I felt I would burst
Shubhankar Paul Why is Facebook such a hit?
Bcoz it works on the principle that, `People are more interested in others` life than their own`.
Eric Wilhelm everyone keeps saying today is such a great day because its the start of December, but I am fairly sure we rocked November 30th pretty hard last night
Christian Kapsalis PUT THIS AS YOUR STATUS AND SEE WHAT PEOPLE INBOX YOU! Black- I want a relationship Green- I'm falling for you Purple- I miss you Orange- I really like you ...... Pink- I love you ♥ Red- I miss how we were Yellow- your amazing Blue- your sexy Grey- we need to talk more Silver- I want your number Rainbow- your my everything
Marc Smith Just got home from a 22 hour shift crazy shit
Kierra Jones-briggs Good afternoon FB Family. ...Giving Honor to the father thanking him for his tender mercy ...praying for strength today couldn't sleep last night so drained today but I'm off to work thank God for swing shift: ) Itz windy but nice outside so make it a good day. ..Blessings
De De Is-very Sleepy She said i heard you got a main chick a mistress and some h*** be up to no good and everybody knows my homegirls tried to warn me they tried to let me kno but wat you got i need a lot so i can let you go she said i cant get enough cant get enough i need that i cant get enough of wat you got good god cause you hit the spot i tried to let go but just could not just to let you kno i need that
Sameha Badawi there is a viraus vedio if u open it will send it to all of ur friends and u will not see it do not open it
KeiAndra Toodles A RELATIONSHIP IS MENT 4 2 PPL ONLY BT SUM BYTCHES & HOES CNT COUNT#LEARN YUR NUMBERS PLEASE!!!
Jaleesa Cooper Lms if u need or got a bhad biish on ya team with hella swag who don't even have to brag cuz she know she bhad. #too all my bhad bitties
Karyane Ribas Indo na casa da minha neguinha linda Carini Czw entregar meu presenti a ela!*-*
La Swïtmama Curdbury Ga papa a tla ka ko mmolelela gr ba ne ba gana k lebella tv,legne selo sa aids!o tla a bna!nxla
Charlie Booker any partys need a disco im ur man inbox me peeps i no and their mates
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